Dear Ash,
People say that, as a mother, you grow to understand your baby's cries. You can tell from their cries whether they are hungry, tired, need a diaper change, etc.
I have to be honest. I can't. I can't tell just from your cries. When you do cry, I generally know why, just because we have you on a schedule and I actually generally know when you're going to start getting upset. Because I spend pretty much all day every day with you, I know that you'll start getting grumpy about an hour and a half after you wake up. I know you'll cry when I set you down to change your diaper and when I get you out of the bath. I know you'll be mad if I hand you to someone else or won't let you roll over because I'm clipping your nails or getting you dressed. But your cries alone don't actually tell me those things.
They've actually done studies looking at whether moms can distinguish between their baby's cries for various things. The outcome of the study was that, mostly, mom's can't. That's not a bad thing. As a mom, you learn that when you're baby is crying, you try to figure out what's wrong by doing different things. You try to feed them or change them or pick them up. If nothing works, let them cry for a few minutes and try again. That's actually really good for babies. Sometimes, babies just need to cry (especially when they're really little and colicky). There are times when babies will not be soothed by anything, cries for fifteen minutes, and then the same soothing technique that didn't work before suddenly works. It's magic!
Although I can't tell what you want, necessarily, from your cries, I can tell how you're feeling. You basically have main three cries. You have you're complaining cry (which is actually not really even a cry), your I'm-upset-and-I-want-you-to-know-it cry, and your mad cry.
Your complaining cry doesn't bother me at all. It's like, you aren't really happy with things, but you're not really upset either. You do this sometimes when I put you down for your nap. It's almost like you're calling out to me to come get you, which is really cute. You'll also cry like this sometimes in your carseat or if I'm feeding you solids too slowly.
Your upset cry is the most common. You do this almost every time I set you down to change your diaper now. You also do this when I leave the room, hand you to someone else, set you on the floor, switch sides during your feeding, or leave you for your nap. If you are crying your complain crying and we don't do something about whatever it is you're crying about, you usually work yourself up to this. This cry used to bother me so much, but I'm getting more used to it. I still do what I can to help you, but it doesn't stress me out as much anymore.
Your mad cry, I can't handle. It's like your screaming. It's so sad. You rarely do this, though. The first time you did it was in Vernal. I was trying to get you to go to sleep, but you were so mad about being swaddled, you couldn't handle it. You were even crying while sucking on your binky. You eventually worked yourself up to your scream crying and it was the saddest thing I'd ever seen. You do this sometimes when you get so tired and I'm not there. You also did it when I accidentally bonked your head with a shower curtain rod. It fell and it hit your head and you were very upset. It took me forever to calm you down. Usually, when you get this way, the only thing that I can do to calm you down is either feed you or get you to go to sleep.
Obviously, you have different ranges through these three cries. And you don't always cry for the same reasons. You are a pretty temperamental baby, so you sort of cry a lot. I do what I can to keep you happy and content, but I can't do that all the time (obviously). One minute, you'll be perfectly happy, the next you'll be mad (often for no apparent reason). I know that as you get older, you'll be able to let me know why you're upset and I can help teach you to regulate your emotions better.
Until then, I'll just shower you with snuggles and make sure you know how loved and safe and taken care of you are. You are a sweet baby and we do love you, even when you cry.
Love,
Mom
