Lessons of a New Mother

Dear Ash,

You eat so much, I can hardly keep up with you.

You're not even two weeks old and you already weigh 8 pounds 5 ounces. That's almost a whole pound more than when you were born. What a good little grower we have!

We've started training you to actually sleep in your co-sleeper. Last night, we moved it back into our bedroom. Benjamin woke up a few more times, but not taking you out into the living room cut off half an hour to hour of time trying to get you back to sleep each time I fed you. It was really nice.

I was reading a blog yesterday and the lady said, "Isn't it funny how something that sleeps 18 to 22 hours a day can be so exhausting to take care of?" How true. Taking care of you certainly is a full time job and I've had to learn a lot.

I've had to learn that little, soft pats on the back aren't going to get any burps out of you. I've got to pat a lot harder than I thought.

I've had to learn to wait ten or fifteen minutes before changing you. Otherwise, you might decide you aren't done and then we definitely won't be able to afford all your diapers.

I've had to learn to let you fuss a little, because usually you'll put yourself back to sleep within a couple minutes if I don't pick you up.

I've had to learn that sometimes you can go four hours without eating and other times, you need to eat every hour.

I've had to learn that it's okay to set you down to get myself food or go to the bathroom, even if you get a little grumpy when I do.

I've had to learn to have your clean diaper ready before I take your dirty one off. If I'm not fast enough, every other diaper change you would make a little puddle on the changing pad and then we'd have to change all your clothes. And you hate that.

What I haven't had to learn is how to love you. I love being your mother, I love doing all those little mom things--changing your diapers, giving you baths, rocking you to sleep. Even the middle of the night feedings are somehow magical, because you are just precious. I am excited for when I can sleep for longer than three hours in a row again and it'll be really nice when you start getting better at soothing yourself, but I still can't wish for those times to come faster.

You are too precious to wish even a minute of my time with you away.

Love,
Mom