Cute Little Personality

Dear Ash,

You already have so much personality.

Things you hate: 

Getting your nose cleaned out.
Being put in your car seat (not necessarily being in it, just being put in it).
Being swaddled.
Holding your hands still long enough for me to clip your fingernails.
Getting out of the bath.
Putting on clothes after the bath.
And when you're grumpy, doing anything except walking around to look at everything.



Things you love: 

People smiling at you.
Singing.
Reading books.
Eating.
Putting things in your mouth.
Grabbing things.
Your play mat. And the hanging elephant on your play mat.
Looking at everything. 
Daddy.

Love,
Mom

Schedule Success

Dear Ash,

I think we're finally getting a pretty good schedule down for you.

We start in the morning around 8:30. That's when you wake up for the day. We change your diaper and, depending on when you woke up during the night, we feed you. We sing some songs and read some books and just play together for a while.

After you get tired of that, we move into the living room, where you play on your play mat while mommy does dishes and laundry. You love your play mat. Your favorite thing about it is the mirror. You love to sit and talk to yourself. You also love the hanging elephant. You always try to get it in your mouth. It's fun to watch you play.

After that, mommy gets your bath all ready and we have bath time! You love bath time, but you hate getting out of the bath, because it's so cold. I always have to calm you down before I can even get you dressed. You also hate when mommy cleans out your nose (which, when I have to, I do it right before your bath). After your bath, your little fuzz hair always sticks up and looks adorable. When you're all clean and dressed in a cute outfit for the day, we sit on the bathroom counter (well, I sit you on the bathroom counter and stand while I hold you up) and let you look at yourself in the mirror some more.

We usually have some time after your bath to play more before it's time for your nap. I sit you on my lap and let you practice grabbing some of your toys. You love to try and get things into your mouth. You always will stuff both your fists in your mouth at the same time. It's hilarious. Sometimes we'll sit and watch a couple of minutes of Signing Time. You seem to really like it, but it doesn't ever hold your interest for very long.

About two hours after you woke up, you take a nap. Ever since Sunday, you've napped so well. It's such a nice change. You usually sleep for an hour and a half to two hours. Sometimes you wake up after forty five minutes and start making noises, but if I leave you for a few minutes, you go back to sleep for another forty five minutes.

When you wake up again, we do basically the same thing, minus the bath. I feed you, change your diaper, and then we play. Two hours you go back down. I usually feed you again right before you go down, even though it has only been two hours. If I don't, you wake up from your nap early hungry.

Then you wake up and we repeat. About the time you wake up, Daddy gets home from work and he gets to play with you for a little bit. It's so cute the way you light up when you see him. You already love your Daddy so much. Then we make dinner while Daddy works out with Spencer. Around six or six thirty, you go down for a catnap. You usually only sleep for about forty five minutes, but I wake you up after an hour if you are still asleep.

When you wake up, I feed you and change your diaper. Then we get to do our calcium. You love your calcium, but it's a little tart and you make the cutest faces while I give it to you. Then we change into a sleeper and play for awhile. After about an hour, you start getting grumpy. The last hour before you go down for the night is your toughest period still. The only thing that really keeps you happy is walking around. So usually what we do is clean the kitchen together.

A little before nine, we go into your room, make sure your diaper is clean, read a book together and then I swaddle you. You don't really like being swaddled (but, unfortunately, won't sleep without it), so I calm you down and then sing you a song. Then I put you in your crib and you go right to sleep for me. You sleep for about an hour and then wake up. I go in, feed you, change your diaper, and put you right back to sleep. Then I just feed you as you wake up. Your waking patterns during the night are still a little sporadic, but you've gradually been sleeping longer and longer. Two nights ago, you slept eight hours--10:30 to 6:30--for the first time! I was so happy. Last night wasn't quite as good, but we'll just keep working on it.

And then the next morning, we do it all over again.

I was a little worried before becoming a mother that it would be too hard or boring. I guess there are times I get a little bored, but I'm not overwhelmed by monotony or anything. Maybe I keep busy enough or maybe you're just a really entertaining baby.

The truth is, though, that I love this. I love staying home with you and watching you grow. I love that you smile every time I look your way and I love the way we play together. I love taking care of you. I love keeping the house clean and organized. I love making all the bread and dinners and breakfasts and snacks and on and on. I love that I'm getting better at cooking and baking. I love that I have time to work on my own stuff, to write and work on starting a little side business to complement Benjamin's. I love having little craft projects--currently I'm working on Benjamin's birthday present--and being able to do some of the things I've found on Pinterest that I want to try. A lot of books and people talk about finding the thing you are good at, something you are really passionate about and making that your full time job. I feel that I've done that. This is what I've always wanted to do and I think I'm really good at it. I know that some women are career women and really love being in the corporate world and being in the workforce. I think that's awesome. For me, though, I cannot imagine that.

I have the life I have always wanted. Here, at home, with you.

Love,
Mom

God made girls for more than wearing pretty skirts.

Dear Ash,

Have you heard this country song?

God Made Girls

It's kind of a cute little song. I wasn't sure I liked it the first time I listened to it. It did get me thinking, though, about why God did make girls. He made us for more than just wearing pretty skirts and flirting. It's not that I don't enjoy doing either of those or that there's anything wrong with that. I just think God had something greater in mind when he created women. I hope I can teach you that. I hope I can show to you as you grow up how wonderful and important being a woman is.

I hope I can teach you that being a girl doesn't mean you are silly and weak and incapable. Instead, it means you strong and can accomplish anything you set your mind to.

Being a woman isn't all about trying to make sure you are equal to men and that everything is fair. Being a woman is reaching out to others in love and complementing the men--especially your husband-in your life.

Real women don't need to act tough, uncaring, and independent. Real women are tough, but they're also compassionate and sometimes emotional, they're interdependent and confident in who they are.

You see, God didn't make women to be exactly like men. He didn't make us to serve our own purposes. I believe that God has a great work for us to do, different from men in some ways, similar in others.

God made girls to be empathetic, strong, and kind.

God made girls to "comfort the weary and strengthen the weak."

He made girls so they could learn and grow, so that later they could teach and lift others.

God made girls to help "build up His kingdom."

God made girls to "do whatsoever is gentle and human" and to "build and to bless."

He made girls to support and encourage their husbands, and to be supported and encouraged by their husbands.

God made girls to be mothers, to raise children who are kind, have a relationship with God, and know who they are. These children can then go into the world and teach others (including their own children) these same things.

God made girls to be His hands, His ministering angles, here on earth. I want to be that for you. I know I am not a perfect mother, but I love you so much. I pray everyday that God will give me the strength and love that I need in order to be the best for you.

I hope you can feel how loved you are, not just by the people who surround you here on earth, but by your Heavenly Father. I can feel His great love for you and it makes me love you even more.

I love you. And as your mother, I will help you on your journey to becoming a great woman, one who is able to fulfill all of God's purposes, if you will let me.

Love,
Mom

We Hate Naptime

Dear Ash,

I think I hate nap time more than you do.

I don't really know what to do with you and sleep.

I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I either put you down too soon or too late. Or maybe not, I can't tell. Because the only sign you give me of being tired is getting fussy. You don't rub your eyes or pull your ears, your eyes don't glaze over. You love exploring, so you just keep right on doing that until you start getting cranky, and by then, it's too late. It's already hard to put you to sleep. So I try to catch you before that happens, but then I worry you're not tired yet, because you cry and cry and won't go to sleep still.

Maybe you just don't like sleeping.

Usually, though, you honestly are pretty good about putting yourself to sleep. Sometimes you'll cry, but usually after only a few minutes, you fall asleep. In the mornings, anyways. The problem is, you still won't stay asleep. After your first morning nap (which is two to three hours long), the longest nap you take is an hour, with most of them being forty five minutes, on the dot.

That would be fine, if you woke up happy and refreshed. Only, you don't. I know it's not a long enough nap for you, because you are still tired and grouch. You yawn and fuss, with intervals of being happy (or at least, being distracted).

As the day goes on, you get crankier and crankier. It gets harder and harder to put you to sleep (probably because you are overtired) and you cry a lot more. By the time nine or ten rolls around (the time mommy is now wanting to go to sleep, thank you child who wakes me up in the middle of the night every night), you are impossible. You are too tired to do anything, even eat, much less sleep.

I've tried everything. I've tried putting you down later. I've tried putting you down earlier. I've tried leaving you in there to see if you will go back to sleep (which ends with you getting mad and then staying mad the rest of the day, we no longer do that), or going in at certain intervals and giving you the pacifier again (this quiets you for five to ten minutes, but you never actually go back to sleep). We've tried putting you to sleep in the car seat and the baby swing and holding you. I don't know what else to do.

Trying to do a schedule with you is impossible. I swear, it is. I know you're still little, but some people say you can get a baby this little on a schedule. Maybe some babies are scheduleable, but I don't think you are. I think you might be a free spirit. Or you just understand the concept of a schedule yet.

I'm just waiting until your about three months (so close now) and I feel that you are old enough to really be put on a schedule. Three naps a day, one long stretch at night. Of course, I'll continue to wake up to feed you for as long as you need it, but I'm hoping when I can start implementing a more rigid nap schedule (or at least, more consistent, even if it's a little flexible), that will help you sleep at night.

I sure love you, baby. I hate seeing you struggle so much, I wish I could help you sleep. I know if you would just take longer naps, you'd be happier. And honestly, daddy and I would be a lot happier too. We'll just keep working on it.

Love,
Mom