We Hate Naptime

Dear Ash,

I think I hate nap time more than you do.

I don't really know what to do with you and sleep.

I always feel like I'm doing something wrong. I either put you down too soon or too late. Or maybe not, I can't tell. Because the only sign you give me of being tired is getting fussy. You don't rub your eyes or pull your ears, your eyes don't glaze over. You love exploring, so you just keep right on doing that until you start getting cranky, and by then, it's too late. It's already hard to put you to sleep. So I try to catch you before that happens, but then I worry you're not tired yet, because you cry and cry and won't go to sleep still.

Maybe you just don't like sleeping.

Usually, though, you honestly are pretty good about putting yourself to sleep. Sometimes you'll cry, but usually after only a few minutes, you fall asleep. In the mornings, anyways. The problem is, you still won't stay asleep. After your first morning nap (which is two to three hours long), the longest nap you take is an hour, with most of them being forty five minutes, on the dot.

That would be fine, if you woke up happy and refreshed. Only, you don't. I know it's not a long enough nap for you, because you are still tired and grouch. You yawn and fuss, with intervals of being happy (or at least, being distracted).

As the day goes on, you get crankier and crankier. It gets harder and harder to put you to sleep (probably because you are overtired) and you cry a lot more. By the time nine or ten rolls around (the time mommy is now wanting to go to sleep, thank you child who wakes me up in the middle of the night every night), you are impossible. You are too tired to do anything, even eat, much less sleep.

I've tried everything. I've tried putting you down later. I've tried putting you down earlier. I've tried leaving you in there to see if you will go back to sleep (which ends with you getting mad and then staying mad the rest of the day, we no longer do that), or going in at certain intervals and giving you the pacifier again (this quiets you for five to ten minutes, but you never actually go back to sleep). We've tried putting you to sleep in the car seat and the baby swing and holding you. I don't know what else to do.

Trying to do a schedule with you is impossible. I swear, it is. I know you're still little, but some people say you can get a baby this little on a schedule. Maybe some babies are scheduleable, but I don't think you are. I think you might be a free spirit. Or you just understand the concept of a schedule yet.

I'm just waiting until your about three months (so close now) and I feel that you are old enough to really be put on a schedule. Three naps a day, one long stretch at night. Of course, I'll continue to wake up to feed you for as long as you need it, but I'm hoping when I can start implementing a more rigid nap schedule (or at least, more consistent, even if it's a little flexible), that will help you sleep at night.

I sure love you, baby. I hate seeing you struggle so much, I wish I could help you sleep. I know if you would just take longer naps, you'd be happier. And honestly, daddy and I would be a lot happier too. We'll just keep working on it.

Love,
Mom