Sunday, November 23, 2014

Baby Sleep Problems

Dear Ash,

You are such a great sleeper, when you actually sleep. You'll put yourself to sleep, often without crying even a little. We just wrap you up in your swaddle, lay in you your crib, and you are perfectly content. Even when you do cry, it's hardly any for maybe two minutes, at the most.

The problem then becomes getting you to stay asleep. From about two in the afternoon to eleven at time/one in the morning, you wake yourself up screaming 15 to 45 minutes into your nap. Sometimes I can get you to sleep an hour, if I put you in your carseat and rock you when you start to make noises.

The rest of the time, you are so content and happy. You sleep great and are a fantastic eater. You'll wake up, eat, then smile and play for an hour or so. Then you'll sleep for two hours, really well. Sometimes, I'll even go in to get you after your two hours are up and you'll be sleepy but awake, but not even crying. You just are sitting in your crib, totally content to just look around. I wish you could always be that happy baby.

Daddy and I think it's your stomach. During those same hard times, you'll have trouble eating--you'll break off and cry in the middle of eating, whether you're breastfeeding or eating from a bottle. A lot of times, when you're screaming inconsolably, if we can get you to burp or when you pass gas, you'll feel better and stop crying. Your diapers are quite the diapers during these times too. When you cry, you'll pull your legs in to your belly and squirm around. We're trying a lot of things--having you sleep sitting up to see if gravity will help, burping you as often and as good as we can, etc. So far, nothing we've tried really helps.

I hope you get over this soon. I've read most babies stop having problems like this around three or four months. I guess some babies do this all the way until six or seven months. I hope you don't. I don't know if Daddy and I can survive that long on this little sleep. It's a little rough sometimes, especially with everything we're trying to do right now.

Thursday, November 13, 2014

Being Your Mom

Dear Ash,

Taking care of you is a full time job.

I'm discovering that I now have a few windows of an hour or two in which to complete my daily to-do list. And that it's really hard to get places on time with a newborn. It's impossible to schedule you, my schedule just works around your feeding and sleeping needs now.

Now, I'm not complaining. I love being your mom still. I do have to admit, though, that being a mother is hard. Really hard, sometimes. Lack of sleep is a large contributor to that fact. Your thankfully brief and few bouts of inconsolable crying might also factor in there somewhere. And just, the whole, being alone with you, constantly going through the feed you, burp you, change you, try to get you to sleep, and repeat cycle.

It's so hard sometimes.

But then there are the times when I'm holding you and you're smiling up at me, or your chubby cheeks are all squished up while you're sleeping, or you stretch your little neck and arms out and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Those are the moments I can't stop staring.
Those are the moments I cry to think, you are my little baby.
Those are the moments I thank my Heavenly Father for the blessing of being a mom.
Being your mom.

Love,
Mom

Snuggle Moments

Dear Ash,

Normally you're a really good sleeper.

Some days, though, you won't stay asleep longer than 20 minutes at a time. I don't know why; maybe you're too cold or maybe you're tummy hurts you.

Whatever the reason, when this happens, we get to snuggle on the couch together.


And I get to stare at my precious, beautiful baby.

Love,
Mom

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

A Different Life

Dear Ash,

Life is totally different with you here.

Of course, I already knew that would happen. Everybody says it will happen. It's an obvious fact. But knowing something like this with your head is WAY different than knowing it through experience.

I now plan everything I do and everywhere I go around your feeding schedule. Because planning your feeding schedule around my life just doesn't work.

We also now try to plan everything around your sleeping schedule. These two are harder, simply because you're young enough that your sleeping and feeding "schedules" don't really follow a set schedule.

Grocery shopping, visiting teaching, school, homework, even making dinner are all a little trickier now than before.

I am finding that I am running late a lot more often with you around. That's because waking up (which can be hard when you don't sleep, meaning I don't sleep), getting breakfast, getting Benjamin breakfast, feeding you, showering, getting ready, getting you ready, feeding you again, packing your diaper bag with everything you might possibly need in the next few hours, and calming you down after we put you in your carseat makes 9:00 church seem a few hours earlier than it really is.

Date night has become trickier. Before you were born, pretty much any day could be date night. We literally did whatever we wanted. Now, we if we want to go out, we have to find someone to watch you and I have to pump beforehand. That, or take you with us and hope you sleep. If we want to eat out, one of us goes to get food while the other stays home with you. When we want to watch a show together, we wait until you are fed and changed and sound asleep. Which means sometimes, we just don't watch something together.

Yes, it definitely is different. Sometimes I find myself missing the time I had before (especially the time with Benjamin). And then I feel guilty for missing it, because I do not wish you weren't here. But things are harder now.

One thing I keep thinking about is this time last year. I was in school at BYU, working part time, Ben was doing the same. We were busy and happy, but I ached for a baby. I ached for you. I knew that I wanted to be a mother and I didn't want to wait. It was my greatest desire, but for many reasons, we did wait. At least, for as long as I could stand it.

Love,
Mom

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Tummy Time!

Dear Ash,

You are starting to actually enjoy tummy time.

This is you, smiling and having fun on your tummy for the first time. 



You tend to root around with your cheek touching the ground.
It's adorable. 



You are so good at lifting your head already.
Your neck is so strong. You got your daddy's muscles.



This is what you normally look like during tummy time. Haha. 



You started off parallel to the edge of the mat.
Then you scooted all the way around like this. 



I don't know what face you're making here. 
It looks like you don't really know what to think.




Sometimes you go cross eyed. 



Your eyes are so pretty.



This is you, mid-sneeze.



Cutie pie. 



So this isn't tummy time, but it's adorable. 
This is you, sleeping while I held you during institute.
We love institute, huh, baby?



And this is you being adorable in your co-sleeper. 
When we don't wrap you up, you sleep like an Egyptian. 

No doubt about it. You win the cutest contest. 

Love,
Mom

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

A Future Book Addict

Dear Ash,

You're probably going to be a reader.

I only say that because both your parents are book addicts. In our budget, we give ourselves $50 a month to spend on whatever we want. Do you know what we usually spend that on?

Yep. Books.

One of our favorite dates is to go to Barnes and Noble and each pick out a book to take home with us. Or just go to Barnes and Noble to browse and not actually buy anything (though that is decidedly less fun).

Right now, we both have Kindles and they are basically our favorite thing. Because we share an Amazon account, every book one of us buys, the other gets to read as well. It's fun. This month, Ben is buying Think and Grow Rich and I'm going to buy Brandon Sanderson's new novella. And we'll both read both.

It's okay if you don't share that passion with us. I know some people just aren't huge readers. I do hope you'll give it a chance, though. I think everyone can be a reader, they just need to find the type of book they enjoy. That doesn't mean that everyone has to list reading as their favorite pass time, but I do think everyone could enjoy it at least sometimes.

And, because I love reading, I'll do everything in my power to make sure you have the opportunity to learn to love reading as well.

Love,
Mom