Being Your Mom

Dear Ash,

Taking care of you is a full time job.

I'm discovering that I now have a few windows of an hour or two in which to complete my daily to-do list. And that it's really hard to get places on time with a newborn. It's impossible to schedule you, my schedule just works around your feeding and sleeping needs now.

Now, I'm not complaining. I love being your mom still. I do have to admit, though, that being a mother is hard. Really hard, sometimes. Lack of sleep is a large contributor to that fact. Your thankfully brief and few bouts of inconsolable crying might also factor in there somewhere. And just, the whole, being alone with you, constantly going through the feed you, burp you, change you, try to get you to sleep, and repeat cycle.

It's so hard sometimes.

But then there are the times when I'm holding you and you're smiling up at me, or your chubby cheeks are all squished up while you're sleeping, or you stretch your little neck and arms out and it's the cutest thing I've ever seen.

Those are the moments I can't stop staring.
Those are the moments I cry to think, you are my little baby.
Those are the moments I thank my Heavenly Father for the blessing of being a mom.
Being your mom.

Love,
Mom